What happened to quality Spam?

What ever happened to quality Spam? I mean, today's Spam is really boring. Remember back in the day when Spam was somewhat entertaining and creative?* Nowadays it's just "Click here to make millions!" or "Click here to see a luscious beauty and here 24/7 webcam" or "Congratulations! You've won!"

What happened to originality? You used to get stuff like**:

• "The government has made it illegal to eat the food currently in your fridge. Find out how to replace it with legal food at no charge to you!"

Or

• "My cat Stutsey has broken his leg. Sign up here for a new credit card so he can have it replaced and regain his freedom."

Or the classic

• "An evil sorceror has broken out of magic prison! Buy Firbie's and build an army to defeat him!"

Ok, I know these examples are lame, but give me a break, it's late.

At least they're better than:
"Click Here! Free iPods and condoms! Free shipping! Get Cash Fast! Free Poker! Big $$! Porn! See Hott Girls Webcams!! NOW! CLICK! CLICK! CLICK!!"

*It is quite possible that Spam never had a better stage. I am making this up for effect.

**This is entirely made up.